Ah, 40. It’s arguably a pretty fantastic age. By this point, you’ve got life pretty well figured out for yourself. Your job is generally exactly how you’d like it, you’ve got a family. Your friend circles are tightly knit and dependable.
So what is up with the slow down in the sheets?
In your 40’s, many things tend to slow down and take the scenic route. This is doubly true for your sex life. Feeling a bit stagnant, even a bit forgotten, in the sex department is completely normal for both men and women of a certain age. At Adult Products India, we’re experts in sex, toys, and well… adults. Learn to tackle the frustrations with these 20 tips, and get your sex life to be just as fulfilling as your everyday life.
Accept and Care For Yourself
Get Good Sleep
Sleep cycles tend to go a bit nuts as we age. Try and get into a good sleep routine, wake up on time and go to bed at a regular hour. Instead of screen time, lulling you to the Zzz Zone, consider mutual masturbation to tucker you both out and improve intimacy.
Forgive the Mirror
Our bodies age. It’s true for every single person living. Be happy with your body, it’s the only one you’ve got.
Work on Self-Confidence
Self-confidence often gets confused with arrogance. Don’t fall into this trap of social farce. It’s perfectly okay to be proud of who you are, to genuinely like yourself, and to think and speak positively about the person you’ve become.
Stay Active
Staying active, whether sexually, mentally, or physically is super important. Keeping active can help distract your mind from the worry and stress that can cause performance issues.
Lose Your Boundaries
Change Your Perception
There is no such thing as normal sex. There is sex that is comfortable to you, and sex that is comfortable for your partner. Learn to live by the credo “Don’t knock it, ‘til you try it”. Don’t be afraid to try new things, or to say, “well, that wasn’t for me”, and move on.
Learn to Talk
Communication between long term partners is really, really important. We get used to talking about superficial stuff, like how work went, and what the kids are up to- but we fail at discussing personal matters. Don’t be afraid to open up sexually and really learn from each other. Consider introducing fun and erotic games into the bedroom to really deepen the…. conversation.
Be a Little Selfish
It is perfectly okay to share your wants, needs, and desires. Don’t be afraid to open up these doors of communication to your partner. You may be surprised at how they react.
Make it Routine
Make sex a daily occurrence. Set aside a week, to begin with. For one week, make sure you pencil in some naughty time every day. You’ll both feel better for it, and studies have suggested it’s a great way to improve overall sex drive, particularly for women.
Spice Up the Norm
Use Toys
Toys are a fantastic way to stretch the boundaries in a bedroom. Lube, condom sleeves, cock rings, or even simple vibrators can subtly help curb many of the often-uncomfortable truths of aging and sex. Things like feminine dryness, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and sensation and muscle tone loss can all be improved by adding a toy or two to your repertoire, respectively.
Surprise Your Partner
Don’t wait until you’re at home, the kids are in bed, and you’ve both put on those dreaded jogging pants. Add a little naughty danger by taking sex out of the bedroom.
Tweak Positions
It’s alright to stick to favorite positions, they’re classics for a reason. But consider adding in slightly different variations of your favorite moves. Or throw in a fun toy now and again.
Introduce Foreplay
The true beauty of foreplay is that it doesn’t have to end in sex. It can be a cheeky little morning reminder of more to come in the evening. A steamy text sent during the day, or even a hot makeout session on the couch.
Find Your Intimacy
Be Thoughtful
We get caught up in the day to day responsibilities of marriage, that we forget to truly celebrate our significant others in unusual and unexpected ways. Think of something that they would really like for themselves, whether it’s a gift, a task, or a kind word- and give it to them. No strings attached.
Be Spontaneous
Be spontaneous in your sex life, and be spontaneous in your everyday life. Try and set aside a little time every week to have a little “unplanned” adventure.
Experiment Outside the Bedroom
Try new foods. Go new places. It’s important to expose yourselves as a couple to things you might not normally gravitate towards.
Go on Dates
Yes. Dinner dates. Movie dates. Whatever dates. Just, go on dates.
Get Healthy
Consider Medications
If you’re not sleeping well, you feel like garbage most of the time, or you can't get your emotions to focus- talk to your doctor. There’s no shame in the little blue pill, just like there’s no shame in mental health meds or diabetes medication. You’ve got access to the science, use it.
Get Active
Mental, physical, and emotional activities are all important to keeping you refreshed and excited about the days to come. Get the heart pumping and the imagination flowing fast early, and the bedroom is sure to follow suit.
Be Mindful
Allow yourself personal moments. Let yourself explore your own pleasures through masturbation before you explore your partner’s desires. Try meditation. Find a quiet corner, or a calming walking trail, where you can just take a minute and be yourself.
Eat Well & Hydrate Often
A healthy diet and proper hydration are super important when it comes to health and wellbeing. Nutritional deficiencies and dehydration can lead to a number of different problems, both inside and outside, of your sex life.
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